Je T'Aime
by Rashini Mira
Summary: I could still remember the first time we met; his silky, messy raven hair and his tantalizing crimson eyes had me falling head-over-heels for him. I learned his heart already belonged to another, Nobara Ibaragi. I felt a feeling of disgust, disappointment and most of all guiltiness at myself. How could I separate these lovers? But I cannot disgrace my family; they only accepted me.
1. Ti Amo Amore

**J** E **T'** A **I** M **E**

I could still remember the first time we met; his silky, messy raven hair and his tantalizing crimson eyes had me falling head-over-heels for him. But he was never interested in me; I'm the plain Jane everyone hates. So, I've never expected him to love me, however, my thoughts and my feelings changed when my parents arranged a marriage with him. He didn't protest, which gave me a pint of hope that maybe he could love me.

But my hopes were cruelly shot down when I learned his heart already belonged to another, Nobara Ibaragi. She was everything I was not. Beautiful, smart and one thing I wanted to have in me will fight for the things she wants. I, on the other hand, was ugly and dumb. But a part of me wanted him to love me like he loves Ibaragi-san.

On our wedding day, I wore a beautiful wedding dress, which was too good for a worthless person like me. Every part of me is weird, my hair is dark brown and as it goes down it get lighter, my lips are red as if I drank blood and my skin is white like snow as if I'm sick. Ibaragi-san had soft and way ice blue hair, her lips were a pink that was indescribable and her skin was beautifully tanned

I looked over to the seats where my parents sat and in the back I can see Nobara-san crying silently while glaring at me intimidatingly. I felt a shiver pass through my whole body and then I looked over to the person next to me.

Natsume Hyuuga

He looked at Ibaragi-san longingly; I felt a feeling of disgust, disappointment and most of all guiltiness at myself. How could I separate these lovers? But I cannot disgrace my family; they were the only ones to accept me.

After our exchanging we had to kiss, I didn't expect him to kiss me but he did maybe to show the people were we 'the perfect couple'. I could taste his delicious soft lips on mine for a few seconds leaving my breathless and dumbstruck.

Maybe he forced himself to think I was Ibaragi-san, just thinking of that had my heart aching a lot. After the ceremony came the part I hated most, greeting the guests. They say eyes were the windows of a soul, however, they are mistaken. People do not see that I smile plastically. People do not see that I am lonely. People do not see that I am guilty for the separating them. People do not see that I am hurt and sad.

Funny right, even though I'm married to the person I love but I don't feel a bit happy or joyed. I married him _forcefully._

I forced the corners of my mouth upward and tried to bring out my _beautiful and carefree_ smile but the fact that I separated Ibaragi-san and Natsume-san had me disgusted at myself

Ever since I can remember I've never asked my parents anything, even my own clothes I've bought them myself by doing a part time job at a café sometimes using the same clothes again to make new ones. You must be thinking "Shouldn't you be at least pampered?" Well then the answer to that is, I hated people been treated unequally.

My train of thoughts was cut off when Ibaragi-san came to congratulate us. What should I do? Glare at her or smile at her and thank her? I prefer the latter, I hate being rude to people.

I offered her my hand for a handshake; she took it and shook, my offered hand, it. I can feel her nails digging into my knuckles painfully. I felt a warm drop of liquid trickle down my hand and onto the red carpet laid on the ivory white floor.

Natsume-san, who noticed something dripping, looked around as if searching what was dripping. His eyes alarmed in panic as he noticed our hands, from the outsiders look it looked like I was thrusting my nails into her hand. She made her eyes glassy and looked our Natsume-san with a sad and painful face. Is she hurt somewhere? Did my nails dig into her hands; I panicked and looked over to her hand where red smudges were there. What should I do? I hurt her, I wanted to ask does it hurt somewhere but Natsume-san's menacing glare made me have big lump in my throat.

Ibaragi-san's parents soon rushed to the scene, they looked somewhat victorious on their daughter getting hurt. I got worried, didn't they love their daughter?

Natsume-san excused ourselves and dragged me to a room, he glared at me and I pretended I didn't see him glaring. Wind blew from the window and the wound in my knuckles started hurting. I winced a bit; Natsume-san must've noticed this and took my wounded hand. He seemed to be inspecting it, his eyes turned from rage to surprise with a hint of care. Didn't Ibaragi-san say that she also hurt me?

Wait, he cared for me? It must've been because Ibaragi-san hurt me, yea that must be it. I bowed my head down and apologized to Natsume-san for causing trouble. He looked slightly disturbed when I apologized to him, I wonder why? Maybe I should bow deeper? So I did it, and he looked even more disturbed.

Then he walked away with me bowing down, I whispered "I'm really sorry and thank you very much." I stood up and walked back to the hall where the guests were.

Next came the most dreaded part, the honeymoon. My parents arranged us a whole penthouse, especially made by their Alices. Want to know what else my parents were famous for? Alices. My parents had the legendary Nullification, Stealing, Insertion, Copy and Erase while I had only the Nullification Alice.

We walked inside the penthouse actually I followed Natsume-san to the penthouse. I stared at his back, his back seemed warm. Finally we reached the bedroom; he gripped the golden knob of the door and opened the door quietly. After a few seconds passed, he excused himself and left the house saying "I have a very important business meeting today." I was all alone in the house, I walked to the big closet which surprisingly didn't have my clothes instead some branded clothes, Gucci, Prada, Jimmy Choo shoes, Valentino, Armani business suits and many more.

Come to think of it why did Natsume-san have a business meeting on his wedding day? It must be very important.

His crimson eyes are like roses aren't they? They're my favorite flower and my favorite color. But when it comes to roses, white is the preferred more want to know why? White represents innocence, Red represents seduction or vibrant. The innocence can be replaced by seduction easily and seduction cannot be replaced by innocence. I can feel my eyelids drooping slowly, I hugged the Valentino nightgown, and I was still wearing my wedding dress. I'll just take my old clothes tomorrow.

Silently, the darkness embraced me in the company of dark and gore nightmares.

 _Je T'Aime_

 _Ti Amo Amore_


	2. Te Amo Mi Amor

**J** E **T'** A **I** M **E**

I looked around I saw was pure darkness surrounding me, I looked around searching for anything, something or anyone but nothing. I felt scared, scared of loneliness. Did they leave me this time? Even my parents? Sure Nat- what I was I going to think?

Crimson

That color seemed familiar to me, no, more than familiar I felt giddy when I remembered that color. Why? For some reason I felt sorrow with some other emotion that I couldn't describe. Why did I suddenly remember crimson? Two dolts of crimson on raven black, where have I seen this combination? Dejection or felicity? What were these two colors made me feel?

A pair of crimson eyes appeared before me, suddenly, I felt the sudden urge to follow them and so I did. The surrounding changed from pitch black to a forest-like surrounding, animals running around, berries grown from bush to bush, trees ripe with delicious fruits then I saw a girl with a hair that was longer than my ankle length hair making a flower crown with a squirrel on her lap. I watched the girl for a good long time and that was when she noticed she spent a lot of time in the forest, she gently kept the little squirrel on her lap down before standing up and started walking forward.

I stood up. And I simply followed her, she walked until we reached a lake she looked happy when she reached it. She kept walking forward until she suddenly stood frozen on the spot, feeling concerned of this girl I took a glance at what she was staring at.

Black and ice blue

These two colors together made me feel sad for some reason; those two colors matched well, well but there was something about those two colors that made me want to hate but couldn't. Why?

Her hand's fell to her side from the shock, then I noticed the heirloom on her ring finger. The heirloom looked expensive with the red sapphire and black sapphire; there was also a small writing on it.

Hyuuga

"Natsume-san?"

We both let out the name that was stuck on our throat and when I did I instantly regretted it because he turned around along with ice blue.

"Nobara-san?"

This time it wasn't me but the other girl, I saw their eyes widen in surprise and fill with panic. The other girl, started walking backwards, backwards until she fell down I went to close to her to help her but I couldn't in my astral body. She stood up and ran away not noticing the flower crown with a big 'N' she was making falling down.

And then I noticed something important, that other girl

Looked

Like

Me

I panted heavily was I having a nightmare? It's nothing unusual you know, I've always had nightmares but I always remember them. My throat felt dry as I recalled my previous nightmares about me dying, me being tortured, me being murdered but I always remember them. Tears gathered on the edge of my eyes, breathing rate became faster. Sobs escaped my lips loudly, echoing throughout room.

I'm sorry for everything I did to Natsume-san and Nobara-san, I'm sorry for separating you both, I'm sorry for even coming to your life. Hiccups left my mouth; I smiled at the unique sound of hiccups. I am weird, crying and smiling to myself; please don't hurt me reminding me it.

You know when I first entered elementary school, everyone wanted to befriend me for not me. I, who had to grow earlier than my age, rejected them politely and gently but then everyone started abusing my physically and mentally brutally. They started throwing stones and sticks at me, they were too cruel to me, they had slipped three dead spiders on my lunch.

Why spiders? One of my many phobias. These things didn't bother me but hurt me mentally and physically both but for some reason I couldn't show my sadness because I've always considered tears as a _weakness._ I know it was too strong for the tiny me but I couldn't help it, I cry for everything and anything. If they weren't crying shouldn't someone cry for that person? That wasn't me being kind; that was me being selfish. That was just an excuse for me to release my sadness in another form or in other words like for another person's sake.

For not crying too they bullied me then, I, for their sake, cried until they got satisfied. Since that I've always cried for everything that simply hurts me mentally or physically. I am a dumb and ugly girl. When they stopped bullying me for some reason but didn't stop making fun of me I must hate, loathe or despise them right? No! How could I hate anyone when I cannot even bear the thought of it?

But a part of me wanted myself to hate them when they confessed that they wanted to befriend me because of my parents' riches, power and my shares.

How did I get my shares when I was six, you must be wondering? Surprisingly I had a good trait on myself, my photographic memory. It helped me in good and bad, memorizing every single thing I've seen. But I still question myself. Am I worth for this amazing memory power? The answer is still the same. It's too worthy for the worthless me.

When middle schools started everyone started _growing_ while I was the plain Jane everyone hated and still hates. For some reason, I too hated myself. But I couldn't figure out why that's when I wrote a letter conveying my feelings.

"I'm sorry _everyone_. I'm sorry I am such a _disappointment_. I'm sorry for being _useless_. I'm sorry I'm a _disgraceful_. I'm sorry for _antisocial_ , most of all I'm sorry for being _born._ "

I smiled bitterly and started reciting the sorrowful verses. Yes those were my true feelings; none could ever change those feelings. No, not even Natsume-san. But he made feel happy just by his presence, feel giddy at a slight touch and feel joyous just by hearing his husky voice. A foreign and weird feeling that made me feel like being on top of the world when I'm with Natsume-san, I felt uneasy with unusual and foreign feeling.

But the foreign feeling Natsume-san gave me made me light, giddy and made me smile without a reason, I knew I had this coming. I knew this foreign feeling Natsume-san made me feel was the very thing that makes a person alive,

Love

 _Je T'Aime_

 _Te Amo Mi Amor_


End file.
